Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize