she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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