the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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