And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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