well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize