My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's never too late to be topless.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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