Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
