I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
