I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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