69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
