Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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