I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
