Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
