I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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