well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
