You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I want a musical about memes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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