What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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