I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
