I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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