Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
