You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
