please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
