The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
