tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
operation have a gay friend backfired
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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