I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
