Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
