Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
