she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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