No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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