Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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