Im at strip club and am horny
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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