Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
