Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the day after is always just damage control
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
