Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
