Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
