last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
