I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
