just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
