TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
