i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
