We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
