Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
