And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
