Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
