Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
