The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
