I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
