so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
