I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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