I just pynch a tree in the face
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
