i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
