Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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