Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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