Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
