Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
