I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
