Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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