I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize