It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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