He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
