Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
