better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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