Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
