I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
