She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
