do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
