i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
