please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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