we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
