Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
