I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
