I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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