she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
