A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
