in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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