Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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