"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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