I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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