so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
