i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
